The Taylor Challenge
by Alias-JoyLemmon
Summary: In commemoration of Taylor Swift's Song 'Back to December'  Which is pretty obviously dedicated to Taylor Launter  on her new album 'Speak Now' I will write a Jake-centered songfic for every one of her songs. Not all are from his POV. Rating M 2 B safe
1. 1 Mine

**The Taylor Challenge**

_In commemoration of Taylor Swift's Song 'Back to December' (Which is pretty obviously dedicated to Taylor Launter) on her new album 'Speak Now' I will, as an exercise of my immense and completely awesome writing skills, write a JakeBella songfic for every one of her songs on her album. (most will be in Bella's POV – cos the songs are froma girls POV. And it probably won't follow the books… some will be all human) Crazy yes, but her songs are good! Seriously, buy it! (Even if she did break his heart…)_

**"Mine"**

**BPOV**  
  
You were in college working part time waitin' tables  
Left a small town, never looked back  
I was a flight risk with a fear of fallin'  
Wondering why we bother with love if it never lasts  


I was here again – in this small diner, eating berry cobbler alone. I was picking at my 'favourite' desert (note sarcasm) when I saw him. He reminded me of someone I once knew, but he didn't exist anymore.

"Hello, anything else I can help you with?" He asked, his deep, rich voice resonated throughout my brain.

I blushed – stupid genes – and shook my head, unashamedly ogling him. He was, ina word, perfect. Gorgeous tan skin, expressive brown – almost black – eyes and his body…well, let's say that the skirt left little the imagination.

"You sure?" He asked, raising one eyebrow. My blush deepened.

He couldn't have been any older then 21 – college? What was he working here for? The nearest college was Washington State, but that was hours away in Seattle.

"I could really use the tip…" he said, fluttering his eyelashes at me, making my heart beat slightly faster.

"I'm sure."

"I tell you what – you buy one more thing, and I'll… I don't know, take you out for a date?"

"You're asking me out?" I asked incredulously. Why would such a _God_ want to go out with me?

"Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to offend you, or anything. It's just that, well, you're cute, and I saw you looking at me, and, jeez, I'm sorry. I won't bother."

"No! I mean, yes! Can I have… a coke?" It came out more of a question.

"You want to go out with me?" He smiled, a little cockily,

I blushed again. But nodded.

"Sure. Right. Ok. Um… are you local?"

"Since I was 17."

"You know where La Push is?"

I nod.

"Great. Meet you on First Beach. At say, 6?"

I nod.

He walked away for a second, but turned back quickly.

"I'm Jake, Jacob Black, by the way."

"Bella Swan." I replied.

I say "Can you believe it?"  
As we're lying on the couch  
The moment, I can see it.  
Yes, yes, I can see it now  


It's been exactly one week since I met Jake. He took me walking this morning – but he ended up taking on a bramble.

And lost.

Epically.

So, we're both on the couch, his head on my lap as I gently remove the thorns.

He hisses when I touch a stubborn one.

"You're such a baby." I told him lightly, tapping his nose.

"I'd like to see you dealing with this much pain."

I chuckled. "Can you believe, that one I might actually have to go through more pain."

He nodded studiously.

Then asked: "When?"

"Well, I eventually plan on kids."

"Oh. OH!" _It clicked,_ I think to myself. "How many?"

"Hmm?"

"How many kids?"

"Oh two or three. I want boys."

"Why boys?"

"Girls are too stressful."

I got back to removing thorns, but I can't help but wonder about the kids that Jake and I could have.

They'd have his gorgeous skin, and his long dark hair, and my eyes.

Do you remember, we were sitting there, by the water?  
You put your arm around me for the first time  
You made a rebel of a careless man's careful daughter  
You are the best thing that's ever been mine  


"Hey Bells," he begins coyly. I'm making him dinner – spaghetti and sauce – while he's trying to look like he's helping.

"Hey Jake," I reply, just as coy.

"Do you remember that time at the beach?"

"Which time? We've been there more than anywhere else."

"The…third?"

I smiled softly and blushed at the memory.

He put his arm around me for the first time.

"Yeah? What about it?"

He shrugged. "Nothing." He grinned then. "I think you looked real pretty that night, that's all."

My blush deepened.

Flash forward and we're taking on the world together  
And there's a drawer of my things at your place  
You learn my secrets and you figure out why I'm guarded  
You say we'll never make my parents' mistakes  


I was awake earlier than Jake today. I've spent so much time at his house, it's sort of become our thing to see who wakes up first.

I try to move away from him, but his huge arm, which is wrapped around my waist, pulling me back.

"Not yet." He mumbles.

I smile. "Jaaaaake." I whined. "I need to pee."

"I don't care," he groaned, pulling me flush against his body, making me squeak.

He chuckled. "What kind of noise is that?"

I shrugged, looking into his eyes. His gorgeous, black-brown eyes, with a slight tint of awesome and a twinkle of mischief, wrapped up in love.

Love.

He pressed his forehead against mine.

"What's the look of worry?" he asked, smiling slightly.

The flashback was sudden.

"_No! I hate you! You kept me here, in this town for long enough!" My mom yelled, waving her arms around her head dramatically._

_Dad was in her face just as much as she was in hers. _

"_God damn it Renee! I told you! We could always move!"_

_She didn't seem to listen. "No! If you hadn't knocked me up, I would have left you long ago. This town in constricting me! I can't Breathe!"_

"_Then walk out the door! You've been threatening for years! But so help me Renee, you walk, Bella is staying!"_

"_She's old enough to make her own decision!"_

I smiled and shook my head. "Nothing."

"Good. Cos I have something to ask you," he whispers, gently pecking my lips.

"What?"

He held my hand. Oh God. He better not be proposing.

"I want you to know, that I think the world of you. You know that, right?"

I nod, struck mute by this uncharacteristic declaration.

"So, I think that, should you feel the same way, you should move in."

"With you?" I squeaked.

I have to stop that.

He chuckled – a little nervously. "Yeah. With me."

I kissed him. "Sure."

"Really?" He sounded very…surprised.

"Yup. Now scoot – I gotta pee."

A few hours later, Jake and I were carrying my stuff into his house. We stopped for a 'break' – and Jake caught me looking at a photo. It was a photo of my parents and me, when I was eight. The summer before I had to leave.

He hugs me around the shoulders. "Honey?"

"Hmm?"

"You wanna talk about it?"

I looked up at him, once again lost in stupid, mesmerizingly comforting eyes.

I sigh. "You sure you wanna hear about it?"

He just gave me a look.

I took in a shaky breath.

"My parents…were never happy. They always fought. Always. Over me, over money – or lack thereof. Of Renee's spending habits, or Charlie's reluctance to spend it at all. Over this place."

"What happened?"

"When I was eight, they split. And Renee won the custody battle. I was with her except for the summers. Renee had several bad relationships, Charlie never got in a relationship again. My best friends, they all got their hearts broken, I just…"

"You think love doesn't work?" He asked softly.

I shrug. "I've seen no evidence of it otherwise."

He kissed my head/ "Honey, we're not gonna make their mistakes. I promise you that."

I didn't say it out loud, but I was thinking _We'll see._

But we got bills to pay  
We got nothing figured out  
When it was hard to take  
Yes, yes, I thought about  


"Honey, wake up," Jake cooed in my ear.

"No. I'm comfy," I protested.

"Honey, you gotta get to work. _I_ gotta get to work. The bills aren't gonna stop."

"We need a plan. Like we don't work in the mornings. Mornings officially suck."

He kissed me softly. "Yeah. We got to figure something out eventually. Living the edge is starting to wear off."

"I think we work too hard. We should take the day off."

He grinned. "Nope. Come on. Up you get."

I groaned as he left. _This is a bit hard…_

Do you remember, we were sitting there, by the water?  
You put your arm around me for the first time  
You made a rebel of a careless man's careful daughter  
You are the best thing that's ever been mine  


I remember that night, at our place on the beach.

His arm around me, my head on his chest, me drifting off to sleep.

"I love you, Bells," he whispered.

And I smiled.

Cos I love him too.

Do you remember all the city lights on the water?  
You saw me start to believe for the first time  
You made a rebel of a careless man's careful daughter  
You are the best thing that's ever been mine  


"Get in the boat Bells."

"No."

"Bells…"

"No!"

"Fine," he huffed, and slung me over his shoulder, fireman style.

"JAKE! LET ME DOWN!"

"NEVER!" He hollered, and shoved me on to the small boat.

I squealed, but somehow, he managed to get us out onto the water.

"See? Look at the pretty lights. Shiny," he taunted.

I shoved him. "Shut up."

He shoved me back. "No, you."

"No, you!"

I must have shoved him a bit too hard – cos the next thing I knew, he was in the water, coughing and spluttering.

"Oh my God, Jake? Can you swim?"

"Yeah, take this first," he told me, shoving something into my hands.

I looked down. It was a jewellery box.

"Jake," I breathed.

"Open it," he whispered, though he was still in the water.

I did. Inside was a ring. A perfect ring, with a small diamond in it.

"I love you, Isabella Swan. I love you so much. And so, I'm asking you – from my knees, if you can believe it – to be by my side forever. Bells, marry me?"

I gasped at his speech. "Yes! Yes! I'll marry you!" I squealed.

"Here, give me your hand I'm gonna do this right." He said, somehow managing to put the ring on my hand. I held it up, watching as the diamond sparkled in the twilight.

"Jake, it's beauty-AHHH!"

He yanked me in.

Into the freezing water.

"Jake!" I hollered, shoving him.

"Hey, careful. That's how we started all this."

"Ha, ha, ha. I had no idea I'd be marrying a comedian."

He chuckled. "Say that again."

"Ha, ha ha?"

"No. The other part."

"I'm marrying you."

He kissed me then, passionately, pulling my body tight against his.

"I love you," he whispered, once we broke for air.

Oh, oh, oh  


I looked up, and, smiling uncertainly, replied: "I love you too."

And I remember that fight  
Two-thirty AM  
Yes, everything was slipping right out of our hands  
I ran out crying and you followed me out into the street  
Braced myself for the goodbye  
'cause that's all I've ever known  
And you took me by surprise  
You said, "I'll never leave you alone"  


"Bella!"

"No Jake. Who the hell is she? Who is that bitch skank of hoe who is screwing you?"

"No one!"

"Really? Then why do I have a message from a 'Leah' whose in town. Hmm? She wants to 'catch up'! Jake I can't believe you!"

"Bella, it's two thirty in the morning. Can we not do this now?"

"No! Now is the perfect time for this! Who is she?"

"I had a fling with her once, years before I met you."

I was crying. I had no control over this situation.

"I can't believe you." I breathed, and ran away from him.

Away from the hurt, that I _should_ have known would be inevitable.

Love never happens.

I could hear him behind me.

"Bella," he breathed, taking my hand.

"Don't touch me!" I yelled.

I wrapped my arms around me, feeling this hurt punch holes in me, feeling the new pain mix with the new.

"Bells, I _love_ you."

I braced myself for this. For the good bye. For the 'but'.

"I'm never gonna leave you. Never. I don't care how long it takes for me to prove this too you, but I'm willing to prove it to you, ever day of forever."

You said, "I remember how we felt sitting by the water  
And every time I look at you, it's like the first time  
I fell in love with a careless man's careful daughter  
She is the best thing that's ever been mine"  


"Bella, you remember that night, at the water? You know that face I was wearing? Bella, I fell in love with you, right there. And everytime I look at you, it's like that first time. I fall in love you again and again. I feel in love with you – with a careless man's extraordinarily careful daughter. But she's mine. She's the best thing that is mine. I love her. I love _you._"

You made a rebel of a careless man's careful daughter  
You are the best thing that's ever been mine  
Do you believe it?  
Going to make it now  
I can see it  
I can see it now  


I hugged him then, rather, through myself onto him, apologizing, again and again.

"My little rebel, falling in love," he whispered.

"We're gonna make it, aren't we?" I asked him, a little afraid of the answer.

"Honey, we're gonna make it," he reassured me.

"Can you see it? Our kids, two little boys, and little girl for you. My house, a little garden and the beach. We're gonna do this. Believe it, Bells. This is real."


	2. 2 Sparks Fly

**"Sparks Fly"**

The way you move is like a full on rainstorm  
And I'm a house of cards  
You're the kind of reckless  
That should send me runnin'  
But I kinda know that I won't get far  
And you stood there in front of me  
Just close enough to touch  
Close enough to hope you couldn't see  
What I was thinking of  


I couldn't help but be mesmerized by the way he moved. Like watching a full-on rainstorm. Powerful and full of secrets.

In comparison I'm little more than a stack of cards – flimsy, and liable to fall without hesitation or warning.

He was the classical badboy stereotype. Tattoo, motorbike, _reckless._ The kind of reckless that should have sent me running.

But I knew that even if I did start running now, I wouldn't get far at all. He saw me watching him.

He knew I was interested.

And for some unknown reason, he seemed interested in me.

I stood up, ready to run anyway, but he just stood in front of me. Just close enough to touch.

I knew this person.

I knew Jacob Black.

And he was standing just close enough that he might not have seen what I was thinking.

Drop everything now  
Meet me in the pouring rain  
Kiss me on the sidewalk  
Take away the pain  
'cause I see sparks fly whenever you smile  
Get me with those green eyes, baby, as the lights go down  
Give me something that'll haunt me when you're not around  
'cause I see sparks fly whenever you smile  


I didn't want him to see me eye-fucking him.

I didn't want him to see me wanting him to kiss me in the middle of a thunderstorm.

I didn't want him to see me wanting him to kiss me on the sidewalk in front of the police station where my dad would undoubtedly see.

I didn't want him to see me wanting him to take away my pain.

My mind forgets to remind me  
You're a bad idea  
You touch me once and it's really something,  
You find I'm even better than you imagined I would be.  
I'm on my guard for the rest of the world  
But with you I know it's no good  
And I could wait patiently but I really wish you would...  


Everyone had heard stories of Jake.

About his 'antics'.

But, conveniently, my mind forgot to remind me that he was a bad idea.

He stooped slightly and touched my hand.

The sparks, the fireworks, the electricity.

How is it that Jacob Black – my best friend – just happens to be the one person I can't recognise at a distance?

"Bells, what's the matter?" He asks, stroking my cheek.

"Nothing," I say, smiling at him.

"You know, you're getting better at this whole 'lying' thing. I'd say you were almost believable."

"Hardy damn ha."

"Really Bells,"

"You know, Jake, you're real lucky that my guard doesn't work as well around you as it does other people."

_And you're lucky that you're much more oblivious than I thought._

Drop everything now  
Meet me in the pouring rain  
Kiss me on the sidewalk  
Take away the pain  
'cause I see sparks fly whenever you smile  
Get me with those green eyes, baby, as the lights go down  
Give me something that'll haunt me when you're not around  
'cause I see sparks fly whenever you smile  


He smiled my smile at that comment, and I could see the rays of sun spark from him.

"Jake, what's up with your eyes? Why are they _green_ of all colours?" _Your normal colour is so much better._

He shrugged under my scrutiny. "No reason. I just wanted to try out something."

"Wait, let me guess, Quil and Embry put you up to this?"

He nodded. "It was at the bonfire that you missed. The sun had just set and well, the tied me down."

"They're a really strong colour. Wait, why haven't you taken them out yet?"

He sighed. "I have to keep them in for a week or they get to beat me up."

"You know that that would be considered bullying, right?"

He shrugged again.

I sighed. "What am I gonna do with you?"

From the evil and lustful glint in his eye, I could tell that he had some idea, not that he would share.

I run my fingers through your hair and watch the lights go wild.  
Just keep on keeping your eyes on me, it's just wrong enough to make it feel right.  
Lead me up the staircase  
Won't you whisper soft and slow?  
I'm captivated by you, baby, like a firework show.  


Another bonfire.

Another drunk werewolf.

For once, a heavily drunk human by the name of Bella.

I'm sitting on the couch, and Jake is laying on me, his head in my lap. I'm stroking it softly, as we both watch the dying sun bounce different colours off the clouds, as the other werewolves go wild.

"Come on Bells," Jake huffs, grabbing my hand, his eyes – now back to their normal, breath-taking black-brown – never leaving mine.

He leads me up the small set of stairs to his garage. This feels wrong. So wrong.

But, when his lips grazed over mine, if only for a second, it felt so right.

I kissed him back, softly, and he growled, almost inaudibly.

Next thing I knew, I was on the couch, Jake's lips attacking mine, with soft whispers in between each kiss.

"Go slow Jake," I whisper to him, after kissing his lips for so long that I felt dizzy and a fire had ignited in my core.

"Why," he breathed, gently peeling back my layers, caressing my body with his heat.

"I've never done this before."

That revelation shook him, but seemed to spur him on.

Drop everything now,  
Meet me in the pouring rain,  
Kiss me on the sidewalk,  
Take away the pain  
'cause I see sparks fly whenever you smile.  
Get me with those green eyes, baby, as the lights go down  
Give me something that'll haunt me when you're not around  
'cause I see sparks fly whenever you smile  


The memory of that night would haunt me forever – in the best way possible.

"Love you Bells," he muttered, still kissing me even after we'd finished.

"I love you too Jake,"

The sparks fly...  
Oh, baby, smile...  
The sparks fly...

The next day, it was like a firework show. The sparks were flying between us, so much that everyone could see.

And I knew that nothing was gonna bring me down from that high, so long as Jake kept on smiling.


	3. 3 Back to December

**"Back To December"**

I'm so glad you made time to see me.  
How's life? Tell me how's your family?  
I haven't seen them in a while.  
You've been good, busier than ever,  
We small talk, work and the weather,  
Your guard is up and I know why.  


"Jake," I breathed. It had been almost a year since I last saw him. Since I broke his heart.

"I'm so glad you could come and see me."

"What do you want Bella," his voice was hard, tough. Sam's voice.

"How's life? How's Billy? And your sisters?"

"Good."

"And you?"

"Busier than ever," she said, an ironic smile on his lips.

"That's good."

"Honestly Bella, we're gonna talk about work and the weather? Small talk? Don't you think it's too late for that?"

I shrug. His guard was up. I wasn't going to get anywhere with him like this.

But I knew why.

It was all my fault.

'cause the last time you saw me  
Is still burned in the back of your mind  
You gave me roses and I left them there to die.  


"Bella?"

I faked a smile.

I was still thinking of that night. That night I knew that he still saw in the back of his mind. That night when I told him no. I was too scared to tell the truth. Lies are so simple when you something to guard.

So this is me swallowing my pride  
Standing in front of you saying, "I'm sorry for that night",  
And I go back to December all the time.  
It turns out freedom ain't nothing but missing you.  
Wishing that I realized what I had when you were mine.  
I'd go back to December, turn around and make it all right  
I go back to December all the time.  


"Bells, talk to me. Why did you want to talk to me? Where's Eddie-poo?"

I ignored the nickname he gave Edward. In truth, his guess was as good as mine.

"I asked you here to apologize. For that night."

He scoffed. "Right."

"Jake, this is me, swallowing my stupid pride, saying I was wrong back in December."

"You regret it?"

"Jake, I revisit that night, I go back to December all the time."

These days I haven't been sleeping  
Staying up playing back myself leavin'  
When your birthday passed and I didn't call.  
And I think about summer, all the beautiful times,  
I watched you laughing from the passenger side.  
Realized that I loved you in the fall  


"Why?"

I shrugged, but collapsed onto the couch.

"Bells? You okay? You look like, well, you look like shit."

"Thanks." I say sarcastically.

"Bells, what's going on? What's wrong?"

"Jake, I can't sleep – I haven't been sleeping. I _can't_. Every time I close my eyes, it starts up again, that night. Me leaving."

He didn't say anything.

"I'm sorry," I whispered. "That I didn't call for your birthday. I was going to. I picked up the phone at least a hundred times, dialled at least fifty. But whenever I did, I just kept thinking about us. About that summer, when all we did was laugh and have fun. When I called you 'sort of beautiful'. And then I realised that I loved you – I had loved you by fall."

Then the cold came, the dark days when fear crept into my mind  
You gave me all your love and all I gave you was "Goodbye"  


"What happened? What happened in the winter?"

"I got scared." I whispered, my voice breaking. "The last time I loved someone so deeply, he left. I didn't really love him, when he came back. I mean, you gave me all your love, and I did in return was say good bye. I'm so, so sorry."

So this is me swallowing my pride  
Standing in front of you saying, "I'm sorry for that night".  
And I go back to December all the time.  
It turns out freedom ain't nothing but missing you,  
Wishing that I realized what I had when you were mine.  
I'd go back to December, turn around and change my own mind  
I go back to December all the time.  


I half chuckled. "It turns out that it was easily my worst mistake – apart from loving a vampire. I broke it off with him. It wasn't fair to him – I wasn't in love him, I was in love with you. My freedom just turned into me missing you. My freedom turned into me wishing that I had realised what I had, when you were mine."

I miss your tanned skin, your sweet smile, so good to me, so right  
And how you held me in your arms that September night  
The first time you ever saw me cry  


"God, I miss you, even now. I miss your skin, so soft and dark. I miss your smile – _my_ smile. I miss it when you've not here to hold me when I cry."

Maybe this is wishful thinking,  
Probably mindless dreaming,  
If we loved again I swear I'd love you right...  


"I know that this is probably just wishful thinking – stupid daydreams. But I swear to god, to you, to everything that means anything. If I had another chance, with you, another chance to love _you_ I would love you right."

I'd go back in time and change it but I can't.  
So if the chain is on your door I understand.  


I'd go back in time and change it, if I could. I know I can't but still… I can understand if you don't want me – if you don't want me back in your life. Hell, _I_ wouldn't want me back in my life. I hate myself."

But this is me swallowing my pride  
Standing in front of you saying, "I'm sorry for that night"  
And I go back to December...  
It turns out freedom ain't nothing but missing you,  
Wishing that I'd realize what I had when you were mine.  
I'd go back to December, turn around and make it all right.  
I'd go back to December, turn around and change my own mind  


"But, please, believe me when I say that every night I go back to December, and make it right, I change my mind. I say yes."

I'd go back to December all the time.  
All the time

"I go back all the time. Jake, I still love you."

I was crying silently. Jake hadn't moved since I began my talk.

"You still love me?" He asked in wonderment.

I nod.

"No," he said harshly, making me flinch. "I need to hear you say it. Like you mean it."

I looked him dead in the eyes.

"I love you, Jacob Ephraim Black. More than I have loved anything in life."

He nodded.

Silence

"Do you still love me?


	4. 4 Speak Now

**"Speak Now"**

I am not the kind of girl  
Who should be rudely barging in on a white veil occasion  
But you are not the kind of boy  
Who should be marrying the wrong girl  


_What am I doing here?_ I think to myself. _It's his _wedding day_ for heaven's sake! Couldn't I have realised I loved him _before_ now?_

I shouldn't be here.

Not today.

But, today is my last chance.

He can't marry that girl.

I use the term 'girl' loosely here.

I sneak in and see your friends  
And her snotty little family all dressed in pastel  
And she is yelling at a bridesmaid  
Somewhere back inside a room  
Wearing a gown shaped like a pastry  


I sneak in, hiding in the obnoxious curtains. I can spy Embry, Quil, Paul, Sam, Jared, Seth, Brady and Colin all taking to _her_ family. The snotty 'I'm-so-much-higher-than-you-all' family. Who are all, surprisingly, dressed in loud, pastel colours. It's like her family comes with it's own uniform code.

I shake my head and keep going.

I can hear her hollering at a bridesmaid.

"No Kim! I can't believe how incompetent you are! It's my wedding day for Christ's sake! The veil goes like this!"

Yeah, even from the back room her angry voice carries. I can't believe they are helping her. Have they seen the dress? It resembles a pastry. It's quite funny, not that I can joke about it.

This is surely not what you thought it would be  
I lose myself in a daydream  
Where I stand and say  


This can't be his 'dream wedding day'. He wouldn't want the pastry dress, or the pomp or the stupid pastel dresses out front.

He'd want something simple.

I pause, lost in an improbable daydream…

Don't say "Yes", run away now  
I'll meet you when you're out of the church at the back door  
Don't wait or say a single vow  
You need to hear me out  
And they said, "Speak now"

Fond gestures are exchanged  
And the organ starts to play  
A song that sounds like a death march  
And I am hiding in the curtains  
It seems I was uninvited by your lovely bride to be  


I'm still hiding – more people arrive, hugging and French kissing people they know, shaking hands with those who they don't. The Boys don't know anyone.

The organ starts up – is it just me, or does the Bridal March sound more like a death march?

I hide more behind the curtains. Your lovely bride-to-be took back my invit e- I was uninvited to my best friend's wedding.

She floats down the aisle like a pageant queen  
But I know you wish it was me,  
You wish it was me  
Don't you?  


I can see her coming – it's hard to miss the pastry dress.

She floats effortlessly down the isle, practically dragging the bridesmaids in her haste to get to the alter.

I see you look, instead of happy, or tearful with joy, regretful.

I know, you wish it was me.

Don't say "Yes", run away now  
I'll meet you when you're out of the church at the back door  
Don't wait or say a single vow  
You need to hear me out  
And they said, "Speak now"  


My daydream is becoming more and more real.

Don't say "Yes", run away now  
I'll meet you when you're out of the church at the back door  
Don't wait or say a single vow  
Your time is running out  
And they said, "Speak now"  


I sneak into a seat.

Ooh, la la  
Ooh, ooh  


The preacher goes through is spiel about love.

I hear the preacher say, "Speak now or forever hold your peace"  
There's the silence, there's my last chance  
I stand up with shaky hands, all eyes on me  
Horrified looks from everyone in the room  
But I'm only looking at you  


"Speak now, or forever hold you peace," the elderly priest says.

The awkward silence – my last chance to stop this mistake.

I stand up, and everyone's eyes are on me, shooting daggers or horrified looks.

I only look at you though.

You're the only one I really care about here.

I am not the kind of girl  
Who should be rudely barging in on a white veil occasion  
But you are not the kind of boy  
Who should be marrying the wrong girl  


I say softly.

I see realisation come into your eyes.

"Bells," he breathes.

"Jake," I breathe back.

Don't say "Yes", run away now  
I'll meet you when you're out of the church at the back door  
Don't wait or say a single vow  
You need to hear me out  
And they said, "Speak now"

And you'll say "Let's run away now,  
I'll meet you when I'm out of my tux at the back door"  
Baby, I didn't say my vows  
So glad you were around  
When they said, "Speak now"  


"Bells! Wait for me!" He hollers, running towards my getaway truck.

"I love you, you know that?" he whispers, kissing me.


	5. 5 Dear John

**"Dear John"**  


Jake picked up the letter that had her neat handwriting scrolled across it.

_Dear Jake,_ it read.

And Jake felt his heart freeze over.

Long were the nights when  
My days once revolved around you  
Counting my footsteps  
Praying the floor won't fall through, again  
My mother accused me of losing my mind  
But I swore I was fine  


The nights were a lot longer now.

And days seemed to be a lot shorter.

Only because you made the time pass so quickly. There never seemed to be enough daylight to contain all of what you wanted to do and say to me.

But I still walk the daylight carefully with you – counting my footsteps, as if somehow I'd be able to predict should one day my footsteps send me crashing down again. As if, if I wasn't careful enough, if I let myself become too happy, then I'd fall through the floor.

Renee has tried to convince me that it was crazy – that Jake wouldn't do anything. That I was losing my mind if I didn't see that he loved me.

I always told her we both were fine with whatever it was we had going.

You paint me a blue sky  
And go back and turn it to rain  
And I lived in your chess game  
But you changed the rules everyday  
Wonderin' which version of you I might get on the phone, tonight  
Well I stopped pickin' up and this song is to let you know why  


After the two week _interlude of Sam_, things changed.

The outcomes you had painted for me, the blue sky in this overcast town gave way to torrential rain.

Your game had come around – I realised I was the chess piece. I was nothing in your eyes.

And you kept changing the rules – your mouth said 'Go Away!' but your eyes were begging me 'Forgive me! Come back!'.

The phone calls were even more erratic. One second you were yelling at me, then next, you were whispering apologies, that it wasn't your fault.

As if there were two of you.

So, eventually, I stopped picking up.

I guess this letter is to let you know why.

Why I'm not picking up.

Why I'm not here anymore.

Dear John, I see it all now that you're gone  
Don't you think I was too young  
To be messed with  
The girl in the dress  
Cried the whole way home, I should've known.  


I see it all so clearly now, Jake. I see it now that we're apart.

Don't you think that I was emotionally too young for this though?

Well maybe it's me  
And my blind optimism to blame  
Or maybe it's you and your sick need  
To give love and take it away  


Maybe it's my fault – me my damned optimistic view – my wanting to blame someone, to blame _you_ for whatever happened.

But then again, maybe it _was_ your fault. You're your twisted, sick game of showing me love, of telling me that you didn't care that I wasn't ready – that you'd wait.

And then just taking it all away.

And you'll add my name to your long list of traitors who don't understand  
And I'll look back in regret how I ignored when they said  
'Run as fast as you can'  


And I know that you'll put me in the same boat as Quil – as the list of 'traitors' who don't understand the reason why you turned away from us and turned to Sam.

I should have listened to him.

I shouldn't have ignored his warnings when he said 'run as fast you can'

Dear John, I see it all now that you're gone  
Don't you think I was too young  
To be messed with  
The girl in the dress  
Cried the whole way home  


Did you know that I cried the whole way home?

That night, did you know how much I cried?

Dear John, I see it all now it was wrong  
Don't you think nineteen's too young  
To be played by your dark, twisted games  
When I loved you so, I should've known.  


Don't you think that this whole game was wrong?

That nineteen is too young for anyone to be involved in these dark, twisted games of yours that you insist in playing?

I _loved_ you Jacob Black.

But I should've known.

My love is never enough, too little too late.

You are an expert at sorry  
And keeping the lines blurry  
Never impressed by me acing your tests  
All the girls that you run dry and tired lifeless eyes  
Cause you run'd them out  


You were so good with the 'sorry Bells,' – a real expert. A real expert at keeping the lines of our relationship blurry. The hugging, the touching. The kisses to the forehead.

And you are so smart.

And then I hear that your skipping school?

What the HELL is wrong with you?

Maybe Quil is right – that you only drain girls. He's told me a lot of things – about how, at the end of the day now, every girl who wants to know you goes home, run dry of tears because of your harsh words, and their eyes so lifeless because of your accusations.

Because you'd run them out.

You'd chase them away.

I didn't believe him.

MY Jacob?

_My Jacob_ being mean? Impossible.

But it's not, is it?

I should know.

I was the top of that list.

But I took your matches  
Before fire could catch me  
So don't look now  
I'm shinning like fireworks  
Over your sad empty town  


It's a good thing I've left.

You can't hurt me anymore.

I've taken the matches that are my emotions away from the flames of your attitude.

So don't look for me.

I'll be like a firework in this town – bright for only a few minutes, before burning out completely.

Congratulations.

Dear John, I see it all now that you're gone  
Don't you think I was too young  
To be messed with  
The girl in the dress  
Cried the whole way home  


I'm crying as I'm writing you this letter.

Thinking of _that_ day.

Thinking of what _you_ said.

I see it all now that you're gone  
Don't you think I was too young  
To be messed with  
The girl in the dress  
Wrote you a song, you should've known.  


So I wrote you this letter, although you really don't deserve it, to explain what I'm doing.

You should've known  
Don't you think I was too young  
You should've known.

_You should have known._

_Goodbye._

_I love you._

_Bella Swan._

Jake choked back tears, before phasing and running after her.

It didn't matter where she went, he _loved her_. And he had hurt her – he had done the one thing that he refused to do.

So now he had to make it right. Stupid Gag Order or not, she would see.


	6. 6 Mean

**"Mean"**

You, with your words like knives  
And swords and weapons that you use against me  
You have knocked me off my feet again  
Got me feeling like a nothing  
You, with your voice like nails on a chalkboard  
Calling me out when I'm wounded  
You picking on the weaker man  


I can't believe him! I mean, I'm a whole two years older than him, and yet he _still_ manages to hurt me!

I mean, what 6 year old hurls _magnetic words_ at a girl!

I mean, what 6 year old can even spell these words!

"Daddy! Jake's picking on me!" I holler, feeling triumphant.

Jake throttles me to the floor.

"Not fair!" He yells at me, slapping my face.

I grab his chalk board, my nails grating against it, before I smack it over his head.

"DAD!" We both yell.

"What the hell is going on he- Jake! Get off of her!" Charlie yells.

"No! Not until she takes it back!"

"Bella," he growls.

"No! Not until he takes it back!"

"Billy! Sarah! Get in here! They're at it again!"

Charlie grabs Jake, who is still trying to hit me.

He has a gash on the back of his head.

Billy grabs me, and I'm still wielding my chalkboard weapon.

"Jacob Ephraim Black!" Sarah hollers, making both of us kids stop what we're doing. "What have I told you about picking on Bella?"

Jake blushed sort of, even though he is dangling about a foot off the ground as Charlie holds him my the back of his t-shirt.

"Never pick on the weaker man," he repeats dutifully.

"Bella, what have I told you about using weapons against Jake?"

"If you're gonna hit someone use your own body – weapons are messy."

"That's right. Now, your father's," we both cringed at the word, "are going to put you down. Then, we're gonna leave. You two are going to apologize to each other or…"

Both of us swallow.

Sarah never threatens idlely.

"Now, Charlie, Billy, put them down."

Well you can take me down with just one single blow  
but you don't know, what you don't know...  


Jake and I huff.

"Sorry Jake," I say begrudgingly once the parents are out of the room. "For hitting you with a chalkboard and saying you have boy germs."

"Sorry Bells, for hitting you after I kissed you." He says.

"Still friends?"

"Still friends."

"I can't believe you landed me with a single blow though! That was mean!"

"You were hitting me with a chalkboard!"

"Bella?" Charlie walks in, interrupting us. "That was mum. We have to leave now."

Someday I'll be living in a big ol' city  
And all you're ever going to be is mean  
Someday I'll be big enough so you can't hit me  
And all you're ever going to be is mean  
Why you gotta be so mean?  


"I'm gonna get you back for this Jacob Black." I whisper to him. Even though we apologized, this semi-hatred thing we had going on was never gonna stop. "One day I'm gonna be big enough so you can't hit me."

You, with your switching sides  
And your wildfire lies and your humiliation  
You have pointed out my flaws again  
As if I don't already see them  
I walk with my head down  
Trying to block you out 'cause I'll never impress you  
I just wanna feel okay again  


I didn't see Jacob Black again until 3 summers later.

I still hated him.

That summer, I think my hatred grew.

"Bella, I still think you're my best friend," he'd whisper to me one day, as we listened to Charlie and Renee argue over the phone.

The next day, he'd be screaming at me: "I hate your guts!"

He told all his friends about how I was riddled with cooties, that was why I was so pale.

I'd go with my dad so he could talk to Billy, and Jake would be there, with his friends, sniggering and laughing, pointing to different parts on my body.

"Look, her skin is so pale you can see her veins!" The taller one would snigger.

"And look at her horrible brown hair!"

"And she's too tall!"

They pointed out all my flaws. They were all true. I was tall for an eleven year old.

But they constantly pointed them out, as if I didn't have to see them every day in the mirror, or live with them for the rest of my life.

So I just spent most of my time at the Black's walking around outside, in the mud – and usually the rain – with my head down, crying.

Trying to block out his taunts and jabs.

I'd never be good enough to fit in – not with him and friends, or back in Arizona, or even with Charlie.

I simply didn't fit.

And that's all I wanted to do – was fit in.

I wanted to feel alright. To feel good again.

Back when Renee was still with Charlie,a nd Sarah was still alive. And Jake wasn't so mean.

I bet you got pushed around  
Somebody made you cold  
But the cycle ends right now  
Cause you can't lead me down that road  
And you don't know, what you don't know...  


That next summer, I realised why Jake was so mean to me.

I saw some older guys push him around. Taunting him, hitting him. Saying that his mother never loved him – that's whys he died.

It was these boys that were making him cold towards me and towards everyone.

I hollered at them to stop. I wasn't gonna let Jake get pushed around by some bullies.

Besides, they weren't that much older than me anyway.

"GO home you bitches!" I hollered, knowing that Charlie would never allow me to use such language should he be around. "Go home and cry to your mummies!" I grabbed a piece of wood and started towards them.

Apparently a crazy temperamental 12 year old is enough to scare some 14 year olds.

"Thanks Bells," he muttered.

"Save it," I said shortly. "I'm not even gonna go there."

Someday I'll be living in a big ol' city  
And all you're ever going to be is mean  
Someday I'll be big enough so you can't hit me  
And all you're ever going to be is mean  
Why you gotta be so mean?  


"Someday, I'm gonna be living in a big city, and you're still gonna be mean. So don't evens tart with the thanks or the apologies."

And I walked away, tossing the plank of wood away from him and me.

And I can see you years from now in a bar  
Talking over a football game  
With that same big loud opinion  
But nobody's listening  
Washed up and ranting about the same old bitter things  
Drunk and grumbling on about how I can't sing  
But all you are is mean  


When I was fifteen, is aw Jake and his friends sneak into a bar. Well, they were with Billy, and they were giggling about how they caught me singing in the shower.

I could just see them, ten years from now, sitting in a bar, with football on the TV, with their same stupid, loud, obnoxious opinions.

But no one would be listening.

No one would care.

Who'd want to listen to some washed up creep, who would be ranting and raving over the same old things.

Who'd be drunk, or gambling.

Who'd still be saying that I couldn't sing.

All you are is mean  
And a liar, and pathetic, and alone in life  
And mean, and mean, and mean, and mean  


When I moved to Forks when I was seventeen, Jacob Black wasn't the same sniggering boy.

He was worse.

He was still mean, and a liar and pathetic.

He was still alone.

But someday I'll be living in a big ol' city  
And all you're ever going to be is mean, yeah yeah  
Someday I'll be big enough so you can't hit me  
And all you're ever going to be is mean  
Why you gotta be so mean?

Someday I'll be living in a big ol' city  
And all you're ever going to be is mean, yeah yeah  
Someday I'll be big enough so you can't hit me  
And all you're ever going to be is mean  
Why you gotta be so mean?  


So how did I end up falling in love with him?

How did I end up married to him?


	7. 7 The Story of Us

**"The Story Of Us"**

I used to think one day we'd tell the story of us,  
How we met and the sparks flew instantly,  
People would say they're the lucky ones.  
I used to know my place was a spot next to you,  
Now I'm searching the room for an empty seat,  
'Cause lately I don't even know what page you're on.  


Stupid friends.

Stupid friends in love.

I can't believe they invited us _both_. Everyone knew. Knew about us.

They were there the day we met – they swore even _they_ saw the fireworks. It was an instant connection, an undeniable attraction.

For that summer, we were never apart. Attached at the hip.

Any place we went, I was next to him.

Now, I'm scanning the room for an empty seat.

We're not even on the same page.

This is so stupid.

Oh a simple complication,  
Miscommunications lead to fall-out.  
Too many things that I wish you knew,  
So many walls that I can't break through.  


That stupid fight.

That stupid Edward.

He has always complicated things. He caused this…mess.

He caused all our miscommunications.

He caused this fall out.

And now, here I am, staring at him. Jacob.

I wish I could tell him all these things – things like I never loved Edward like I loved – love – him.

But he has too many walls up, guarding his face, his mind.

His heart.

This wasn't My Jake,

This was Sam's Jake.

And it was killing me.

Now I'm standing alone in a crowded room and we're not speaking,  
And I'm dying to know is it killing you like it's killing me, yeah.  
I don't know what to say, since a twist of fate when it all broke down,  
And the story of us looks a lot like a tragedy now.  


In this crowded room, it's like we're in our own little bubble. Just facing each other, not speaking.

What could we say? We had both changed because of this. Both of us for the worse.

But, if I could speak, if I could say anything, I would ask him if this was killing him like it's killing me.

This situation wasn't natural for us. Even when we weren't together, we would always talk, touch.

That's how it was.

But now…

Next chapter  


But moving on…

How'd we end up this way?  
See me nervously pulling at my clothes and trying to look busy,  
You're doing your best to avoid me.  
I started to think one day I'd tell the story of us,  
How I was losing my mind when I saw you here,  
But you held your pride like you should've held me.  


I could see the question in his eyes reflected in mine. How did we end up this way?

I blush and start fiddling with my clothes, nervously.

But I know that's he's ignoring me.

I know that's he's been avoiding me. Avoiding me today, yesterday, since that day.

I swear, if I ever have kids, I'll tell them of this night.

Of how the moment I saw him this night, I lost my mind.

Not that it mattered to him – he held his head high, holding his seemingly untarnished pride with such devotion – the way he should have always held me.

The way he used to hold me.

Oh, I'm scared to see the ending,  
Why are we pretending this is nothing?  
I'd tell you I miss you but I don't know how,  
I've never heard silence quite this loud.

I don't want to know how this night will end. I'm scared of this ending.

I don't even know why we're evens till here, pretending that the other doesn't existing. Pretending that this elephant in the room was nothing.

"I-" I began. But I couldn't finish.

I'd tell him I miss him, that I'm sorry, that I love him, but I have no freaking idea how.

This silence was deafening.

I've never heard silence this loud.

Now I'm standing alone in a crowded room and we're not speaking,  
And I'm dying to know is it killing you like it's killing me, yeah.  
I don't know what to say, since a twist of fate when it all broke down,  
And the story of us looks a lot like a tragedy now.  


I don't know what to say at all. That stupid twist of fate – which was the return of Edward – caused all of this to break down.

That stupid trip to Italy.

That stupid, stupid girl that was me who blindly ran back to him, because of some warped idea that the love that we had once shared wouldn't have gone.

But it had.

And not only had I lost my love, but my best friend.

I had lost my second family.

This is looking like a contest,  
Of who can act like the careless,  
But I liked it better when you were on my side.  
The battle's in your hands now,  
But I would lay my armor down  
If you say you'd rather love than fight.  
So many things that you wished I knew,  
But the story of us might be ending soon.  


Jake doesn't move, apart from his eyes, which rake over my body hungrily, like he's soaking up every inch of me, in case he never sees me again.

But otherwise, his body language suggests that he could care less.

This stupid constant of 'who can care less'.

I liked it better when we together – a team. On the same side.

But this stupid fight is now in his hands.

It's his move now.

I would give up, surrender, lay down all my armour if he only whispered 'I'd rather love you then fight you.'

But I know he won't.

Stupid male pride.

Stupid me, for telling him that when I left to get Edward, I left my heart right back here, in Forks, with him. With Jake.

But I think the story of Jake and Bells is ending.

And that look on his eyes, the look of a yearning to tell me things – things that you wished I knew.

Now I'm standing alone in a crowded room and we're not speaking,  
And I'm dying to know is it killing you like it's killing me, yeah.  
I don't know what to say, it's a twist of fate when it all broke down,  
And the story of us looks a lot like a tragedy now, now, now.  
And we're not speaking,  
And I'm dying to know is it killing you like it's killing me, yeah.  
I don't know what to say, it's a twist of fate 'cause we're going down,  
And the story of us looks a lot like a tragedy now.  


The story on Jake and Bells, our stupid friends will say.

What a tragedy.

"Bells," he whispered gruffly, breaking me out of my musings.

"Yes?" I say, almost too eagerly

The end

"I love you, but this is the end."

"The end of us," I whispered, holding back the tears that had filled my eyes.

"Goodbye."

"Jake WAIT!" I yelled, causing everyone to look at us.

I blush at their attention, but they soon go back to whatever they were doing.

Jake is looking at me, strangely.

"Jake, he left, and I miss you and I love you, and I know it's not it enough – it's too much too late, but you have to know. I still love you. I will always love you."

"Bells," he groaned, as if in pain.

"This is where the story ends," I whisper, walking away.

He knew. I had said my peace.

As I said – it's up to him now.


	8. 8 Never Grow Up

**"Never Grow Up"**  


_Jakes older sister Rachael's POV_

Your little hand's wrapped around my finger  
And it's so quiet in the world tonight  
Your little eyelids flutter cause you're dreaming  
So I tuck you in, turn on your favorite night light  
To you everything's funny, you got nothing to regret  
I'd give all I have, honey  
If you could stay like that  


For a little brother, Jake's pretty cute.

He fell asleep while watching a Disney movie, his little hand clutching my finger.

I look down at his face, which is resting on my lap. His eyelids are fluttering, like he's dreaming. He's probably dreaming of that Bella. He loves her, even for a four year old.

I pick him up – he's not even that heavy – and put him in his bed, tucking him n and putting on his nightlight. He can't sleep without it.

He's always laughing – everything is just sooo funny to him.

I know mum wishes that he'll never grow up – I hear her talking to dad sometimes, saying that 'I'd give all I have if they all could just stay like that – stay that young, that innocent forever,'

Oh darling, don't you ever grow up  
Don't you ever grow up, just stay this little  
Oh darling, don't you ever grow up  
Don't you ever grow up, it could stay this simple  
I won't let nobody hurt you, won't let no one break your heart  
And no one will desert you  
Just try to never grow up, never grow up  


I can agree with her, I guess. I don't want him to grow up. He's not annoying when he's this age.

Everything is so simple with him – food, sleep, play.

I wouldn't let anyone hurt him – no one is gonna break my brother's heart. No one will ever desert him.

If he stays this small, no one will have to.

I just hope that he never grows up.

You're in the car on the way to the movies  
And you're mortified your mom's dropping you off  
At 14 there's just so much you can't do  
And you can't wait to move out someday and call your own shots  
But don't make her drop you off around the block  
Remember that she's getting older too  
And don't lose the way that you dance around in your pj's getting ready for school  


"Mum! I can walk to the movies!"

"Nonsense! I'll drop you off!"

I scoff. He's not even 14 yet, and yet he's still vying for independence.

"But-"

"But what? " She demands.

"The guys will tease me!"

I scoff again. He's so mortified that mum is dropping him off.

"Just be glad that I do – what if something happened to you on the way? Hmm? How would we know?"

"I can't wait to move out!" He yells. "I can drive myself then!"

Mum shakes her head, but I go after him – he's slammed the door to his room, but I know that it wouldn't stop me.

"Go away Rachael." He grumbles.

"Listen Jake, Mum's not gonna be around forever. Let her do this for you. She's getting older as well – once we move out, all she's really gonna have of us are memories."

He scoffs. "Right. Like they'll _ever_ let me move out. At most I'll move down the street."

"Just let her, alright? And don't make her drop you off around the corner - that's cruel."

"Anything else? Oh wise one?"

"Ha, ha. Just keep dancing in you pjs as you get ready for school – you'll get a lot more independence that way."

He raises an eyebrow, not believing me.

"Trust me on that one, alright? Stop trying to grow up so fast."

Oh darling, don't you ever grow up  
Don't you ever grow up, just stay this little  
Oh darling, don't you ever grow up  
Don't you ever grow up, it could stay this simple  
No one's ever burned you, nothing's ever left you scarred  
And even though you want to, just try to never grow up  


Everything was fine, until mum and dad went to pick him up. That's when the accident happened.

Mum didn't survive.

Dad lost the use of his legs.

Jake wasn't physically harmed – no burns and no scars.

But as all of us Black kids held each other in the hospital waiting room, Jake whispers over and over 'I don't wanna grow up. I wanted to, and now I don't. I don't wanna grow up."

Take pictures in your mind of your childhood room  
Memorize what it sounded like when your dad gets home  
Remember the footsteps, remember the words said  
And all your little brother's favorite songs  
I just realized everything I have is someday gonna be gone  


I came back to help Jake move across the Res. I can see him standing in his empty room, remembering how it looked like when he was a kid.

"You ready to go?" I asked quietly.

He nodded. "yeah. I'm just…"

"Gonna miss it. We know."

"I'm gonna miss the sound of dad's burn-outs on the kitchen lino." He says randomly.

"Yeah, cos now you'll never know if someone's coming in the door – you'll have no warning when you're using your sock."

"Ha, ha."

But I realised that I missed it to. I know Jake's gonna miss Dad yelling at him, and he's gonna miss the sound of his own footsteps on the rickety porch outside.

He's gonna miss the neighbours rowdy songs.

I think it's just hit home – for Jake – that the 'someday I'll be gone' is today.

So here I am in my new apartment  
In a big city, they just dropped me off  
It's so much colder that I thought it would be  
So I tuck myself in and turn my night light on  


_(JPOV)_  
So here I am. In my new house, ina different part of the Res. Closer to the beach. Closer to Mum's favourite place.

It's colder here then I remember – and I'm running at nearly 110◦ - it's colder than I thought it would be.

So I plug in my nightlight and climb into bed.

To try and make peace with my new surroundings.

Wish I'd never grown up  
I wish I'd never grown up  


But sometimes I wish that I'd never grown up. I wish I could be 4 again.

Oh I don't wanna grow up, wish I'd never grown up  
I could still be little  
Oh I don't wanna grow up, wish I'd never grown up  
It could still be simple  
Oh darling, don't you ever grow up  
Don't you ever grow up, just stay this little  
Oh darling, don't you ever grow up  
Don't you ever grow up, it could stay this simple  
Won't let nobody hurt you  
Won't let no one break your heart  
And even though you want to, please try to never grow up  
Oh, don't you ever grow up  
Oh, never grow up, just never grow up

I don't wanna grow up – I could still be little, and life would be very simple.

I wouldn't' have never gotten hurt, Bella wouldn't have broken my heart.

I guess the good thing about being a werewolf is that I don't actually grow up.

Not anymore.


	9. 9 Enchanted

**"Enchanted"**

There I was again tonight  
Forcing laughter, faking smiles  
Same old tired, lonely place  


Home.

Forks.

Diner.

La Push.

First Beach.

The same old places, the same old faces.

Tonight was no different.

There I was, forcing smiles with these superficial people from school that I call my friends. The same me, faking a laugh.

These places never get any better with age.

Only more lonely.

Walls of insincerity  
Shifting eyes and vacancy  
Vanished when I saw your face  


But all of that changed when I see _you_.

I see you face, amid the insincerity that held up these old walls.

The shifty eyes of shady people in the group couldn't even avert my attention from you.

All I can say is it was enchanting to meet you  


A magical quality seemed to pull you towards me.

An enchanting one.

Your eyes whispered "have we met?"  
Across the room your silhouette  
Starts to make it's way to me  


Your eyes seemed to speak to me, whispers of 'haven't we met'.

You looked familiar.

Your eyes looked familiar.

The dark brown, almost black eyes, filled of liquid magic.

And, in my peripheral vision, I catch your shadow walking closer to me.

But I am still hypnotised by your eyes.

The playful conversation starts  
Counter all your quick remarks  
Like passing notes in secrecy  


Playful conversation – light banter starts up between us.

We are ignored by the rest of the group.

It's like they can't see your beauty.

I counter all your quick remarks about by hair, my lack of height.

My choice in companions.

It gives me butterflies – like secretly passing notes in class when you have a strict teacher.

The enchanting quality that makes it that much cooler.

And it was enchanting to meet you  
All I can say is I was enchanted to meet you  


I must say, that you are enchanting

This night is sparkling, don't you let it go  
I'm wonderstruck, blushing all the way home  
I'll stand forever wondering if you knew  
I was enchanted to meet you  


"So, Bella," you say, pronouncing my name carefully. "You wanna walk home with me?"

I blush, but nod.

Outside, the stars were shining brightly – well, as brightly as they could in this eternal overcast part of the world.

I trip, but you catch my hand, helping me remain upright.

But you don't let go, you keep a hold of my hand, making me blush all the way home.

As we get to my door, you still stay, still holding my hand, allowing me to look back to your eyes.

I'd stand here forever, just looking into your eyes.

I wonder if you know just how enchanting your eyes are – how enchanting you are.

The lingering question kept me up  
2 AM, who do you love?  
I wondered 'til I'm wide awake  


Days after weeks after months, and I'm dying to ask you a question.

A question about who you love.

I'm too afraid to ask.

But it keeps me up, 2am every night, until I'm wide awae, just wanting to ask and knowing that I never could.

And now I'm pacing back and forth  
Wishing you were at my door  
I'd open up and you would say, "Hey"

It was enchanting to meet you  
All I know is I was enchanted to meet you  


And the days when we're not together makes me wish you would knock on my door, and say something silly.

Like "It was enchanting to meet you'.

And me wishing for that impossible day keeps me pacing.

This night is sparkling, don't you let it go  
I'm wonderstruck, blushing all the way home  
I'll stand forever wondering if you knew  
This night is flawless, don't you let it go  
I'm wonderstruck, dancing around all alone  
I'll stand forever wondering if you knew  
I was enchanted to meet you  


And tonight, I'm dancing to that song that was playing in that diner that night we met.

Dancing all alone.

Remembering how I was wonderstruck at you and your mesmerising ways.

Remembering how the stars seemed to make your brown eyes glow.

Remembering how that only thought I could make was 'It was enchanting to meet you.'

This is me praying that  
This was the very first page  
Not where the story line ends  
My thoughts will echo your name  
Until I see you again  
These are the words I held back  
As I was leaving too soon  
I was enchanted to meet you  


It's been more than two weeks since I saw you last.

I'm praying that this isn't where this story ends. I'm praying that this is just the first page.

It's silly, but most of my thoughts are about you.

They seem to echo your name, and when I'll see you again.

They seem to flash back to that first night, where I left your gaze and your hold too soon – too soon, when I could have said so much

Please don't be in love with someone else  
Please don't have somebody waiting on you  


Now, my thoughts and prays are spent wishing that you're not in love with anyone else.

That I'm the only one waiting for you.

Otherwise…

I'd be crushed.

This night is sparkling, don't you let it go  
I'm wonder-struck, blushing all the way home  
I'll stand forever wondering if you knew  
This night is flawless, don't you let it go  
I'm wonder-struck, dancing around all alone  
I'll stand forever wondering if you know  
I was enchanted to meet you

Please don't be in love with someone else  
Please don't have somebody waiting on you  


"Bells?" Your voice calls form the porch.

Oh God, I'm crying!

"Yeah?" I called, cursing the fact that my voice cracks.

You run through the door.

"Bells, what did you do?"

"Stairs," I mumble out the lie. He'll never know any difference.

"Can you walk? Cos, I think it's time my most enchanting girlfriend meet my dad."


	10. 10 Better Than Revenge

**"Better Than Revenge"**  


_From Jakes POV – simply changes the 'she's to 'he's and 'him's to 'her's etc._

"Now go stand in the corner  
And think about what you did"

Time for revenge

The story starts when it was hot  
And it was summer and I had it all  
I had him right where I wanted him  
She came along, got him alone  
And let's hear the applause  
She took him faster than you could say "sabotage"  
I never saw it coming  
Wouldn't have suspected it  
I underestimated just who I was dealing with  
She had to know the pain  
Was beating in me like a drum  
She underestimated just who she was stealing from  


The story of my pain starts in the Summer. It was the perfect summer – in the north of Washington, it was hot. Which is rare.

And I had it all.

I had her – I had her just where I wanted her.

She was falling in love with me.

Then _he_ came along, managed to get her alone.

And *Wait for the applause* He took her faster than you could say sabotage.

He ruined my plan.

I never saw it coming – _she_ didn't see it coming. Neither of us suspected that he would come back.

I guess I underestimated him.

He had to know the pain I was feeling – he was a mind reader and all. He had to know how it stabbed at my heart like a drum.

The thing is – he underestimated just who he was stealing from.

She's not a saint  
And she's not what you think  
She's an actress, whoa  
But she's better known  
For the things that she does  
On the mattress, whoa  
Soon she's gonna find  
Stealing other people's toys  
On the playground won't  
Make you many friends  
She should keep in mind  
She should keep in mind  
There is nothing I do better than revenge  


"He's not a saint Bella," I told her.

"Yes he is."

"He's not what you think."

"He's exactly what I think."

"He's a real good actor. That's all. He's had over 100 years to perfect the skills."

"I don't care."

"Do you care about the fact that he might be lying to you about his virginity?" There. That got her attention. No one could stay blue-balled for what, 110 years? Not evena vampire.

"I don't care Jake."

"You do." I taunted her.

She ignored me, but I knew that I'd planted a seed of doubt.

Part one of Revenge: Get Bella Back complete.

She looks at life like it's  
A party and she's on the list  
She looks at me like I'm a trend  
And she's so over it  
I think her ever present  
Frown is a little troubling  
And she thinks I'm psycho  
'cause I like to rhyme her name with things  
But sophistication isn't  
What you wear or who you know  
Or pushing people down  
To get to where you wanna go  
They wouldn't teach you that  
In prep school so it's up to me  
But no amount of vintage dresses gives you dignity  


Edward seems to glide through his life with Bella like it's some high tailed party. And he's on the list. Heck, he probably thinks that he _wrote_ the list.

And he keeps looking at me like I'm a recycled fad that he's 'over'/

I think his ever-present frown is troubling.

And he tells Bella that I'm psycho – just because I created totally legitimate nicknames.

Like 'Fuckward' and 'Eddi-poo' and 'Popsicle'.

You'd think, though, that with over 100 years' experience, he'd know that pushing people down *cough* *cough* ME *cough* doesn't get you where you wanna go in life. You'd think that with 100 years at prep schools he'd realise this. You'd think he'd realise that vintage clothes and vintage ideas doesn't give you diginity.

It gives you problems.

She's not a saint  
And she's not what you think  
She's an actress, whoa  
But she's better known  
For the things that she does  
On the mattress, whoa  
Soon she's gonna find  
Stealing other people's toys  
On the playground won't  
Make you many friends  
She should keep in mind  
She should keep in mind  
There's is nothing I do better than revenge  


"Jake, what's wrong with you? Why are you so bitter towards Edward?"

"Because he stole you."

"I'm not a toy that kindergarteners fight over."

"He doesn't have many friends, does he? Maybe it's because he _steals_ things that aren't his." I continue on, ignoring her.

"Jake, he has heaps of friends."

"Like?"

"Tania."

"A vampire. A gorgeous, tall,_ blonde_ vampire, I'm guessing, whose had _years and years of friendship with Edward._ Yes. I like his choice in friends. I believe they call it friends with-"

"Jake, don't even go there! He would never!"

"Honey, as beautiful as you are, I'm pretty sure that back in his day, blondes were all the rage. I'm pretty sure you don't grow out of fads like that."

She glowers at me. "Stay here. I'm going to talk to him."

I smirk.

"That doesn't mean that you've _won!_ It just means that I have to prove his innocence to you."

"Sure sure."

But I knew that Revenge: Part 2 was complete.

She trusts me more than him now.

I'm just another thing for you  
To roll your eyes at, honey  
You might have him but haven't you heard  
I'm just another thing for you  
To roll your eyes at, honey  
You might have him but I always get the last word  


"Jacob, what's this, this, _thing_ you have with my girlfriend? You think that you can tell her lies about me? That you can spread rumours?"

"I do believe rumours always have a seed of truth."

He rolls his eyes.

"_Dog,_ this has to stop. For Bella's sake if nothing else. This is killing her."

"Then let her go!"

"Never!"

I smirk. "You might have her _now_. But what happens when that Southern Comfort of a brother takes another snap at her? You gonna take off then? Listen you _Leech_, I always get the last word. And in this case, that last word is Bella."

"Shouldn't that be her decision?"

"Shouldn't you let her make it? Or are you scared that she'll pick me?"

He glowers at me, before stalking off. Once he's way away, I think – perhaps a little _too_ gleefully: Revenge: Part 3 complete.

She's not a saint  
And she's not what you think  
She's an actress, whoa  
But she's better known  
For the things that she does  
On the mattress, whoa  
Soon she's gonna find  
Stealing other people's toys  
On the playground won't  
Make you many friends  
She should keep in mind  
She should keep in mind  
There's is nothing I do better than revenge  


"Jake, this has to stop!" She pleaded with me.

But I wasn't gonna stop now. She had bruises on her wrist that size of a vampire's hand.

"Bells. No. He hurt you. So now, I hurt him."

"This is crazy!"

"No. I'm going."

"He didn't bite me! He hasn't broken he treaty!"

"Oh I know."

"Then how are you…"

"Bella, there's honestly nothing I do better than revenge.

Do you still feel like  
You know what you're doing  
'cause I don't think you do?  
Do you still feel like  
You know what you're doing?  
I don't think you do  
I don't think you do  
Let's hear the applause  
Come on show me  
How much better you are  
So you deserve some applause  
'cause you're so much better  
She took him faster than  
You could say "sabotage" 

"Jake, no!"

"Bells, he took you faster than you can say sabotage. He waited just until you were ready to move on, before he came back. Threatening to _kill himself_ if you didn't save him. He has emotionally and physically abused you, he's played with your mind, made you think that you're not _good enough for him. _But Bells, you're _too good for him._ You're in a bad relationship. And if I have to tie you up in my room,' *Cue inappropriate fantisies* 'Then so be it! I won't sit by and watch my best friend – the girl I _love_ – get hurt! I made a promise to you, and I'm keeping it."

Let's here the applause for Jacob.

Cos I'm _that_ awesome.

Oh, and I won the girl.


	11. 11 Innocent

**"Innocent"**

I guess you really did it this time  
Left yourself in your warpath  
Lost your balance on a tightrope  
Lost your mind tryin' to get it back

Crap.

I blew it.

I really blew.

How did I let myself do this? How did I let myself go _this far_ without it clicking? How did I manage to loose myself, my mind, trying to get back to the ways things were?

Before I had to walk a tightrope between my love and my duty to not scar her.

Wasn't it easier in your lunchbox days?  
Always a bigger bed to crawl into  
Wasn't it beautiful when you believed in everything?  
And everybody believed in you?  


This was so much more easier when I was little. I would pull her hair, or hit with something, then I'd tell her a secret – cos I liked her a lot.

When I could crawl up into my then big bed with mum, and tell her about how much I liked her – how I was gonna marry her one day.

Everyone believed that I'd do it too.

Charlie, Mum, Dad, even Bella's Mum. Sometimes, even Bella mumbled something about marrying me just to spite her mother.

And I believed that I was gonna marry her too – how could I not? She was the only girl I'd ever loved.

It's all right, just wait and see  
Your string of lights is still bright to me  
Oh, who you are is not where you've been  
You're still an innocent  
You're still an innocent  


"You're still _my_ sun." She whispered possessively into my ear, that night.

"You're still bright."

There's some things you can't speak of  
But tonight you'll live it all again  
You wouldn't be shattered on the floor now  
If only you would sing what you know now then  


It's been one year.

Tonight.

And yet, I still can't speak of it.

I'm living it all again tonight – much more vividly than any other night.

And as the memories of _that_ kiss, of _that_ fight, of _that_ marriage ceremony float back to me, I lay shattered on my floor, surrounded by them.

I hum the song that we first danced to – silly and wild and out of control, with Bella tripping over herself, and my catching her, only to laugh and do all again.

The song by Lady Antebellum.

Bottle Up Lightning.

"_I wish I would've taken a few more chances, spun you 'round the room a few more dances, Just for once look past these fences, Followed your heart over that horizon, Never looking back just keep on driving, But holding you is just like trying…_" My voice broke as the last words fell out of my mouth

"_To bottle up lightning."_

Wasn't it easier in your firefly-catchin' days?  
And everything out of reach, someone bigger brought down to you  
Wasn't it beautiful runnin' wild 'til you fell asleep?  
Before the monsters caught up to you?  


I remember those summers, _that_ summer before I was a wolf. Creeping around the garden, jars in hand – just like every other year – trying to catch more fireflies then her.

She used to let me win – I was taller, but she was older. It was sort of her obligation to let me win.

I remember chasing her – chasing _after her_ that summer, until exhausted falling asleep.

Like _that_ day – when she found out who I was.

When the monsters caught up to me.

It's all right, just wait and see  
Your string of lights is still bright to me  
Oh, who you are is not where you've been  
You're still an innocent  


"I still love you Jake,"

It's okay, life is a tough crowd  
32, and still growin' up now  
Who you are is not what you did  
You're still an innocent  


The years have been 'kind' to me. 32 and still looking like I did when I was sixteen.

I was still growing up.

And boy was it a tough crowd.

"I can't believe he's like, 30! He's still hot though!"

"I heard he's into cosmetic surgery."

"I heard he got into steroids."

The lies and half truths hurt almost as much as the memories.

"I can't believe that he's still in love with that skinny little nobody who shot thorugh when she was 18. That white chic. Crazy depressed and all."

Time turns flames to embers  
You'll have new Septembers  
Every one of us has messed up too  


Time has softened my emotions towards her, and each September is different, new. But it still reminds me of her.

"Everyone messes up Jake. The whole idea I s to make sure that when you do, no one sees and no one gets hurt."

Crap I messed up.

Lives change like the weather  
I hope you remember  
Today is never too late to  
Be brand new  


I'm still alone though.

I never fell in love again.

Never found my imprint.

So much for time.

"Today is never too late to be brand new. You told me that Jake,"

Her words from the past, assaulting my senses.

It's all right, just wait and see  
Your string of lights are still bright to me  
Oh, who you are is not where you've been  
You're still an innocent  


"Jake you're still innocent. You don't get it."

_What don't I get Bella? I share my mind with a bunch of horny pubesant wolves!_

She shook her head. "You're still innocent."

It's okay, life is a tough crowd  
32, and still growin' up now  
Who you are is not what you did  
You're still an innocent

"I still love you. You're still _my_ sun. Who you are is not where you've been or what you've done. It's how you view yourself."

Right now, I'm alone.

And still an innocent.


	12. 12 Haunted

**"Haunted"**

You and I walk a fragile line  
I have known it all this time  
but I never thought I'd live to see it break  
It's getting dark and it's all too quiet  
And I can't trust anything now  
And it's coming over you like it's all a big mistake  


"Jake?" My voice breaks. I reach forward, to touch this strange man who looks like Jacob, walks like Jacob, sounds like Jacob. But this wasn't _my_ Jake.

My hand stops.

"What happened to you?"

"Bella. Leave."

His voice stoic, hard. This careful line that I walked – the fragile line that kept things simple.

He broke it. With two little words.

And I never thought I would see it break – never saw _him_ breaking it.

Maybe I'm too far gone.

Maybe what _He_ said is true. Maybe I really am good for nothing.

A strange and seemingly awkward silence enters between us, as the sky darkens and the clouds threaten to burst, sounding out the thunder.

I can't trust anything – any_one_ – anymore.

And I can see, through his body language, through his eyes, that he thought this – our friendship – was a mistake.

Oh, I'm holding my breath  
Won't loose you again  
something's made your eyes go cold  


My breath catches in my throat.

I can't loose someone again. Not like this.

He promised that he wouldn't hurt me.

But something – and I'm guessing Sam – made his eyes, which were sound beautiful, so warm and tender and inviting, so full of sunshine and laughter. Of love.

Something had made them go cold.

Come on, come on, don't leave me like this  
I thought I had you figured out  
Something's gone terribly wrong  
You're all I wanted  
Come on, come on, don't leave me like this  
I thought I had you figured out  
Can't breathe whenever you're gone  
Can't turn back now, I'm haunted  


"Don't," I whisper. "Don't do this. Don't' leave me like this! Not like Ed- _He_ did!"

I had this all figured out. I would try and be good for him. I would try and be whole.

I would try and love him.

But something had gone terribly wrong.

And everything I had ever wanted these last few months, had dismissed me.

Stood there and watched you walk away  
From everything we had  
But I still mean every word I said to you  
He would try to take away my pain  
And he just might make me smile  
But the whole time I'm wishing he was you instead  


"Go Home Bella." He almost snarled, his hands trembling, and he walked away.

He.

Walked.

Away.

Just like _He_ did.

They both walked away from everything we had – everything we could have had.

"I still mean everything I said Jacob Ephraim Black!" I hollered to him. "I am still trying!" The tears ran down my face.

"I LOVE YOU!"

He stopped. But didn't turn around.

Quil turned up then.

"Come on Bella, let's go."

And Quil tried to be like Jake.

Tried to take away the pain – the double pain. I was riddled with so many Jake holes and Edward holes, that I'm sure I resembled swiss cheese.

Quil tried to make me laugh even.

But it's not natural.

It's not _us_.

And the whole time, I'm wishing it was Jacob instead.

Oh, I'm holding my breath  
Won't see you again  
something keeps me holding on to nothing  


That night, something hits my window and my throat seizes up.

And shape that looks remarkably like Jake appears in front of my window.

I open it and he envelops me in this bone-crushing, spine-crunching hug, a hug that seems to say _If I let you go, I will never see you again._

"Don't worry Bells," he croons, as the tears pour out of my eyes. "You'll get it."

And those three words keep me holding on – even if it is to nothing.

Come on, come on, don't leave me like this  
I thought I had you figured out  
Something's gone terribly wrong  
You're all I wanted  
Come on, come on, don't leave me like this  
I thought I had you figured out  
Can't breathe whenever you're gone  
Can't turn back now, I'm haunted  


"Don't go," I plead, grabbing his arm. "Don't leave me like this. Not again."

I can't breathe when he's not around.

This isn't right.

This isn't what I had figured out.

I know, I know, I just know  
You're not gone. You can't be gone. No.  


But Jake was gone, with just a sad parting stare.

"No, no, no, no, no, no! You're not gone! You can't be gone!" I scream out the window.

My scream is met only by a mournful howl of a nearby wolf.

Come on, come on, don't leave me like this  
I thought I had you figured out  
Something's gone terribly wrong  
Won't finish what you started  
Come on, come on, don't leave me like this  
I thought I had you figured out  
Can't breathe whenever you're gone  
Can't go back, I'm haunted  


My dreams are of Jake.

Of his smiles, his hugs.

_That_ hug.

My pleading with him.

His blatant dismissal.

I can't go back to the darkness though.

Oh  


I can't. Not now, not ever again.

I'm haunted by him.

By Jake.

You and I walk a fragile line  
I have known it all this time  
Never ever thought I'd see it break.  
Never thought I'd see it...  


"WOLF!"


	13. 13 Last Kiss

**"Last Kiss"**

I still remember the look on your face  
Lit through the darkness at 1:58  
The words that you whispered  
For just us to know  
Told me you loved me  
So why did you go away?  
Away?  


"Jake?" I mumbled. I roll over to look at him, glancing at my alarm clock. 1:58AM it emblazons proudly in red.

"What is it?"

I can't see him well in the darkness – my the alarm clock is giving his face a weird red glow.

"I love you." He whispers.

I smile. I can't believe he woke me up to tell me that.

"I know." I kiss him gently, but there is hunger behind the return kiss.

We made love that morning.

So why did you leave me?

Why did you go away?

I do recall now the smell of the rain  
Fresh on the pavement  
I ran off the plane  
That July 9th  
The beat of your heart  
The jumps through your shirt  
I can still feel your arms  


I ran off the Plane. I had spent a month in Arizona with my mother while she was sick.

The smell of fresh rain, and the pavement glistening were indicators that I was home.

July 9th – I had missed Independence day.

But when I crushed myself to him, mylegs around his waist, his hands holding my butt as we made out, told me that I was truly home.

The feel of his heart jumping and pounding wildly in his chest, as if it would come clean out his shirt, told me that he missed me just as much – if not more – as I missed him.

I can still your arms.

Did you know that?

But now I'll go sit on the floor  
Wearing your clothes  
All that I know is that  
I don't know how to be something you miss  
Never thought we'd have a last kiss  
Never imagined we'd end like this  
Your name, forever the name on my lips  


But now I'm sitting on the floor, back to the wall, wearing one of your big shirts that smell like you.

Crying over you.

Just like last time.

I do remember  
The swing of your step  
The life of the party, you're showing off again  
And I roll my eyes and then  
You pull me in  
I'm not much for dancing  
But for you I did  


I remember our party.

How he was swimming with every step, swaying to a song that only he could hear.

When he spotted the dance floor, he became alive – the life of the party, showing off to me and all his mates. Cos he was the best.

He grabs my hand, and twirls me towards him, making my hips sway to the intoxicating beat of the music.

It actually felt good.

I wasn't much for dancing after all.

But for you, I did dance.

Cos you liked to dance, and you like it when I danced.

Because I love your handshake  
Me and my father  
I love how you walk with your hands in your pockets  
How you kissed me when I was in the middle of saying something  
There's not a day when I don't miss those rude interruptions  


I remember how, whenever you had to come over to my Dad's house, you insisted on shaking our hands – both of ours.

Dad never got over that.

I loved the way he walked with his hands in his pocket – seemingly to put him at ease wherever he went.

I loved the way how, whenever I would be saying something important, like the cost of groceries, or the plan for the day, he would just lean over and kiss me.

Not a day goes by when I don't miss those rude interruptions

But now I'll go sit on the floor  
Wearing your clothes  
All that I know is that  
I don't know how to be something you miss  
Never thought we'd have a last kiss  
Never imagined we'd end like this  


Do you miss me?

Wherever you are, do you miss me?

Your name, forever the name on my lips  


"Jake," I mumble, between my sobs.

So I'll watch you live in pictures like I used to watch you sleep  
And I feel you forget me like I used to feel you breathe  
And I keep up with our old friends just to ask them how you are  
Hope it's nice where you are  


I walk past _that_ wall – the wall of you. The photos of us when we're little, making mud pies, of us during some summers, of you fishing with our dads, of you with your friends, at a party.

You kissing me, you sleeping.

I loved watching him sleep.

But I feel like you forget me – little things about me, like me forgetting to breathe around you.

But I still talk to our friends.

Sam, Quil Embry, Jared, Paul, Emily, Seth, Leah, Colin and Brady. Your dad.

And we talk about how you are.

About how we hope it's nice where you are.

And I hope the sun shines  
And it's a beautiful day  
And something reminds you  
You wish you had stayed  
You can plan for a change in weather and town  
But I never planned on you changing your mind  


I hope that, wherever you are it's sunny, all the time – just like you.

I hope it's perpetually beautiful all the time. That the days are all perfect.

And that something will pop up, making you wish that you could have stayed.

I mean, you can plan for a change in weather, and a town.

But I – we – could have never planned for something like this.

So I'll go sit on the floor  
Wearing your clothes  
All that I know is that  
I don't know how to be something you miss  
Never thought we'd have a last kiss  
Never imagined we'd end like this  


So that's why I'm here.

Crawled up in your clothes – cos, these days, that's all I know what to do to be close to you.

I don't know to be something you miss.

I never thought we'd have a last kiss.

Never.

I thought we'd always be able to do even that.

I never imagined that our love story would end so quickly.

So tragically.

Your name, forever the name on my lips  
Just like our last kiss  
Forever the name on my lips  
Forever the name on my lips  


And yours is the only name on my lips – forever.

Just like that kiss.

When I told you goodbye, be safe.

Just like our last 

When you died on the way back from a jewellery store, your mother's wedding ring in your hand, with the words 'Forever ours' engraved into them.

When you died.


	14. 14 Long Live

**"Long Live"**

I said remember this moment, in the back of my mind  
The time we stood with our shaking hands  
The crowds and stands went wild

_Remember this moment_, I thought to myself. _How often do I get to graduate with my awesome, hunkily gorgeous werewolf boyfriend?_

Jake looked back, and held my hands, which we shaking from nervous excitement.

I let go as he walked up on stage.

Everyone went wild – no one thought he would graduate – top of most of his classes – after the whole 'badboy disappearing act' last year.

And now here he was, working the crowds.

But I could see him blush under his russet skin.

We were the Kings and the Queens  
And they read off our names  
The night you danced like you knew our lives  
Would never be the same

"_And, our Homecoming King is…." The host procrastinated to build excitement._

_I felt his hand get clammy._

"_Jacob Black!" _

_I cheered and kissed his cheek._

"_And your homecoming queen is….Bella Swan!"_

_I gasped. I hadn't even remembered entering!_

_The next thing I knew, Jake was kissing me, with a reckless abandon that left me breathless and wanting more._

"_Come on," he whispered, pulling me towards the dance floor._

_I shake my head. "This is your song – you dance."_

_And so he did – he danced like he knew that this was the last time we would ever be in such a situation._

_He danced like he knew our lives would never be the same._

You held your head like a hero  
On a history book page  
It was the end of a decade  
But the start of an age  


That was last night though. Right now, I was captivated by him, as he nervously gave the graduation farewell.

He held his head high and proud, like those ancient war heroes in the history text books that he mocked with every lesson.

"This is the end of a decade," he said, his voice calm and controlled, though I could see how nervous he was.

"But it also a start of an age. The age of us." The crowds cheered, but he was only looking at me.

_The age of us._

Long live the walls we crashed through  
How the kingdom lights shined just for me and you  
I was screaming long live all the magic we made  
And bring on all the pretenders  
One day we will be remembered  


The twinkle lights were out all over the school, the lights seemed to out just for Jake and I to marvel at the way the soft light caressed each other's skin, and there were still 'Fairytale Fantasy' decorations from Homecoming up.

Well, there _were_ until Jake and I crashed through the walls of the castle.

No, we weren't making out and in various stages of undress when it happened…

(Note sarcasm and shifty eyes)

I said remember this feeling  
I passed the pictures around  
Of all the years that we stood there  
On the side-lines wishing for right now

_Remember this feeling, this feeling of buoyancy,_ I thought to myself, as we handed around the year books, signing them and leaving quirky little mementoes of our relatively short time together.

"Hey Bells," Jake said, hugging me around the shoulder's as we swapped books.

"Hmm?"

"Remember how we used to sneak out of class to come see the seniors do this?"

I chuckle. "Yeah, I remember wishing that it was us."

"Now it is," he whispered softly, kissing my temple, making me blush.

We are the Kings and the Queens  
You trade your baseball cap for a crown  
When they gave us our trophies  
And we help them up for our town

"_We are the King and The Queen!" Jake whispered excitedly in my ear, as we held up our crowns._

_Jake put mine on, carefully avoiding my ears and the ridiculous way my hair was placed._

_I chuckled and fixed up his hat hair before putting his crown on. "You need to stop wearing hats before these kinds of things."_

"_And for the first year ever! Trophies for our Royalty!" The host exclaimed excitedly._

_I decided that she must have had too much coffee._

_We held them up showing basically the whole town what we had 'achieved'._

And the cynics were outraged  
Screaming this is absurd  
Cause for a moment a band of theives  
In ripped up jeans got to rule the world  


"_This is absurd!" Someone hollered._

_Well, I knew _exactly _who it was. The biggest cynic of the entire Washington State. Mike's Mother._

"_They don't' deserve this! All they do is bum around making trouble for everyone with their, their ripped jeans and caps on backwards! Their nothing but a band of thieves! Them and their friends!"_

_That sparked an outrage, but I Gently cleared my throat and took the mic off the Host._

"_Thank you for your opinion. But for tonight, for this moment, this band of thieves in ripped jeans are gonna rule the world. Don't like it, don't watch."_

_And I kissed Jake then, passionately, showing him how hungry I was for this night to be over._

Long live the walls we crashed through  
How the kingdom lights shined just for me and you  
I was screaming long live all the magic we made  
And bring on all the pretenders  
I'm not afraid  
Long live all the mountains we moved  
I had the time of my life fighting dragons with you  
I was screaming long live the look on your face  
And bring on all the pretenders  
One day we will be remembered  


"Long live," he whispered against my skin.

"Here's to the magic we made," I said, raising my glass of coke as we sat intimately as our Dads conveniently happened to need to go to the bathroom at the same time.

"Here's to the mountains we moved," he toasted back.

"Jake?" I whispered, sometime later.

"Yeah?" He whispered back.

"I had the time of my life fighting our dragons and demons with you."

He smiled softly.

"I love you too."

Hold on to spinning around  
Confetti falls to the ground  
May these memories break our fall

_Jake lifted me effortlessly off the stage, and spun me around, as the confetti fell around us in the 'school colours'_

"_This is what memories are made of," Jake whispered cheesily in my ear._

_I giggled._

"_Yeah, just don't drop me – I don't think that memories are gonna break my fall should gravity decide to step in."_

"Our_ fall Bells. If you go down, I'm going down with you."_

Will you take a moment, promise me this  
That you'll stand by my forever  
But if god forbid fate should step in  
And force us into a goodbye  
If you have children some day  
When they point to the pictures  
Please tell them my name

"Jake," I whispered that night, as we lay curled up together in my bed, m=Charlie not knowing.

"Yeah Bells?"

"Can you promise me something?"

"Anything Bells."

"Promise me, that you'll always be by my side? Forever?"

"Until Your Heart stops beating – even then."

He seemed unperturbed by my declaration.

"Jake Look at me."

His face became serious. "What Bells? What's the matter?"

"If, if we ever have to say good bye – no matter the reason, no matter whose fault it was, or what fate did to force it, can you promise me that if and when you have children, you'll show them this?" I handed him a folded up photo. "Can you tell them my name? Tell them that you loved me?"

Tell them how the crowds went wild  
Tell them how our hope it shined  


He looked confused.

So I kept going. "Tell them how you made the crowds of over judgmental and cynical people believe in the poor muscled boy with a secret. Tell them how the crowds went wild. Tell them how the hope shined in your eyes – because you believed it as well."

He kissed me, slowly, putting every minute trace of his love for me into that kiss, a kiss that seared my soul and caused the tears that welled in my eyes to break.

Long live the walls we crashed through  
I had the time of my life with you

"I love you, Isabella Marie Swan. The Only one I will ever love is you. If we have to say goodbye, I'll follow you. If I have children, they will be yours. I. AM. YOURS." He whispered forcefully, as if the idea of us ever having to say goodbye was too painful for him to even comprehend.

"Jake, tell them that I had the time of my life with you."

HE nodded then. He might not have gotten why I needed him to tell this to his kids, should they not be mine, but he would. For me.

Because he loved me.

Long, long live the walls we crashed through  
How the kingdom lights shined just for me and you  
I was screaming long live all the magic we made  
And bring on all the pretenders  
I'm not afraid  
Singing, long live all the mountains we moved  
I had the time of my life fighting dragons with you  
I was screaming long live the look on your face  
And bring on all the pretenders  
One day we will be remembered  


"Bella?' Jake whispered, sometime later.

"Yeah Jake?"

"No matter the pretenders, or how afraid you are, I will tell OUR kids of how I wished the look on your face, right then, when I first told you I loved you, would live on forever."

I smiled softly at him.

"Bella, we will be remembered. I promise you that. We will be remembered"


	15. 15 Ours

**"Ours"**

Elevator buttons in morning air  
Strangers' silence makes me want to take the stairs  
If you were here we'd laugh about their vacant stares  
But right now my time is theirs  


_I can't believe I'm doing this. Only _He_ could convince me to come _here_ of all places._

The elevator buttons are cold – it is before 9, and it is Washington after all. A small shadow of my fingerprint remains on the button temporarily.

The elevator pauses and a stranger gets on. _Well they're _all_ strangers to you._

The Stranger is staring at me. Not talking.

I wanna take the stairs.

I text Jake quickly

-If you were here right now you'd be laughing your arse off

-_why?_

-Vacant stares of random stranger in elevator.

-_hahaha_

I take a shaky breath as I put my phone away and get out of the elevator.

For the next hour or so – my time is there's.

Seems like there's always someone who disapproves  
They'll judge it like they know about me and you  
And the verdict comes from those with nothing else to do  
The jury's out, my choice is you  


I can see the disapproving stares from here.

But at least one face is smiling.

"Bella. Thanks for coming today."

"Hey Billy."

"So, I would like to call the Council Meeting to begin. Our first item on the agenda is Bella. She and my son – the next Chief and already Alpha of the Pack – would like to be able to further their relationship. Both of them wanted this Council's approval, seeing as, though Bella knows about the Pack, she is not part of it or the tribe."

I sit straight-backed. Nervously twiddling my thumbs under the table as the arguments begin to fly.

"_They'll judge this like they know about us. They don't, not really. And besides, it's more of a formality then anything. The verdict will come from crusty old men and potato-shaped old women who have else to do with their time then approve these kinds of things. And if worse come worse, I'll just Veto their decision when I become Chief."_ Jakes words float through my head.

I breathe deeply.

"You are approved," Billy whispers in my ear.

I hug him briefly before dashing back to the elevator.

-The Juries out!

-_And?_

_-_My choice is you.

So don't you worry your pretty little mind  
People throw rocks at things that shine  
And life makes love look hard  
The stakes are high, the water's rough  
But this love is ours  


He met me outside, hugging me and spinning me around at the same time.

"See? I told you not to worry that pretty little head of yours."

"Jake there were some pretty serious debates going on up there!"

"Bella, honey, people are gonna throw rocks at things that shine. It's all good now. I can actually – officially – ask you to be my girlfriend!"

I chuckled, but kissed him lightly.

"Ok."

"Ok? After all that, ok?"

I shrug. "Don't make such a big deal about it."

You never know what people have up their sleeves  
Ghosts from your past gonna jump out at me  
Lurking in the shadows with their lip gloss smiles  
But I don't care 'cause right now you're mine  


"Bells," Jake whispered, low and urgent in my ear.

"Hmm? Jake? What time is it? What happened? Is everyone ok?"

"It's about 3:30. Everyone's fine – for now. We got word about … something. Something that might upset us."

"Us? What is it? Did the council renege on their decision? Oh my God, hey did, didn't they?"

"Bella, honey, nothing like that." He sighed, but climbed in bed next to me.

"We got words that the Cullen's are coming back."

I felt the colour drain out of my face.

The Ghosts of my past, who had hid in the shadow for so long, jumping out at me right now, when I should be at my –current – most happiest.

"Bells?"

I shrug. "Let them come. It's not like I'm living in Forks anymore – well, not for the most part. And besides, I don't think that all their sparkly lip gloss would make me go back, I mean, come on-"

Jake kissed me, hard and passionate, like he had been worried.

"Jake," I mumbled as we paused momentarily for breath. "Jake?"

"Yes?"

"What?"

He stopped and sat up. "Thank you."

"For what?" I was beyond confused.

"For not going back to them."

"Jake, I don't _care_ about them. Right now, you're mine. I'm not gonna let that go."

He still looked doubtful.

"Never. You're stuck with me for good now, Mr Black."

And you'll say  
Don't you worry your pretty little mind  
People throw rocks at things that shine  
And life makes love look hard  
The stakes are high, the water's rough  
But this love is ours  


"I know that Life makes Love look hard, but if you did want to go back to them… I wouldn't stop you."

I kissed him them, just a gentle one.

"Jake, I'm not leaving."

"Really?"

"I love you. _You_. You silly, overgrown werewolf."

And it's not theirs to speculate  
If it's wrong and  
Your hands are tough  
But they are where mine belong and  
I'll fight that doubt and give you faith  
With this song for you  


"Bella, please don't this!" Edward pleaded. "It's not right!"

"Not right? Jake's HUMAN! Which is more then I can say for you!"

"It's wrong! He's a dog!"

"And you're a vampire!"

"Bella, Please,"

"No Edward. Never again. Go. Get out of here."

"No. Bella, you have to listen to me!"

"No, I don't."

And I ran to my truck, knowing that Edward could have already been there – if Jake wasn't there already.

"You okay?"

"You mind if I move in with you and Billy? Sparkles make it hard to sleep."

"Sparkles?"

"Shut up," I mumbled, holding onto his hand. It was tough and calloused from his work with the cars. But I fit mine perfectly.

"You sure you don't wanna go back?" He still looked doubtful – even a little hurt."

"Jake, give me a little faith."

"How can i? He can give you _everything_. What can I give you?"

"Love. A small home in the forest with yellow curtains in the window and small kids running around outside. You can give me you."

"Bella,"

"Jake, you said it yourself – once you go Black you never go back. This is me proving you _right._ So stop trying to undermine it."

'Cause I love the gap between your teeth  
And I love the riddles that you speak  
And any snide remarks from my father about your tattoos will be ignored  
'Cause my heart is yours  


"Jake, I love the little imperfections that make you _real._"

"I'm imperfect?" He said, mock-offence in his voice, but his eyes were sparkly wickedly.

"Yeah. Like that gap between your teeth. I love that gap."

"And?"

"And how you speak in riddles when there's something that I can't know but you wanna tell me anyways."

"What about Charlie?"

"What about him?"

"The tattoo?"

"Oh. Right. Well, I'll just ignore them. He's too old to be snide about those kinds of things."

"I love you Bella," he crooned.

"My heart is yours," I croon back.

So don't you worry your pretty little mind  
People throw rocks at things that shine  
And life makes love look hard  
Don't you worry your pretty little mind  
People throw rocks at things that shine  
But they can't take what's ours  
They can't take what's ours  


"So don't you worry your pretty little head about _us_ anymore. I love you. You love me. They can't take that."

The stakes are high, the water's rough  
But this love is ours  


"The stakes are gonna higher, and the water rough, but this love is ours. And they can't take that."


	16. 16 If This Was A Movie

**"If This Was A Movie"**

Last night I heard my own heart beating  
Sounded like footsteps on my stairs  
Six months gone and I'm still reaching  
Even though I know you're not there  
I was playing back a thousand memories, baby  
Thinking 'bout everything we've been through  
Maybe I've been going back too much lately  
When time stood still and I had you  


Last night, I swore I was crazy.

I swore that my own heartbeats were footsteps on the stairs.

Footsteps of Bella.

This morning is like every other morning – I still reach for her.

Even though it's been 6 months and I know she's not there, I still reach.

I stayed up late, last night – just like very other night – playing back the thousands of memories I had of her.

Thinking about everything that we had been through – of how she just walked back to him after it all.

Maybe I've been going back the times when I still held her too much.

But it's hard.

I love her.

Come back, come back, come back to me like  
You would, you would if this was a movie  
Stand in the rain outside 'till I came out  
Come back, come back, come back to me like  
You could, you could if you just said you're sorry  
I know that we could work it out somehow  
But if this was a movie you'd be here by now  


I wish she would come back.

In the movies, the girl always back.

I wish she would be like the girl in the movies – waiting outside, in the rain until I came out.

Like she did the day she figured out I was a werewolf.

But I guess, she can't.

That stupid _bloodsucker_ won't let her.

I know people change and these things happen  
But I remember how it was back then  
Locked up in your arms & our friends are laughing  
Cause nothing like this ever happened to them, now  
I'm pacing up the hall, chasing down your street  
Flashback to a night when you said to me  
Nothing's gonna change, not for me and you  
Not before I knew how much I had to lose  


I know, in the tiny, rational, logical side of my brain, that these things happen.

But I keep remembering how it was that summer – how she was locked up in my arms, and everyone was laughing – but nothing like that love had ever happened to them. They didn't understand.

I was pacing my hall, back and forth, back and forth, until I finally gave up, and raced down the streets to her house.

The flashbacks of how she whispered 'nothing is gonna change this – not between me and you. You'll always be _my_ Jake.'

Flashbacks of how I stupidly believed that I had nothing to lose.

Of how I stupidly believed that somehow, my heart wouldn't get tangled up in our love.

Come back, come back, come back to me like  
You would, you would if this was a movie  
Stand in the rain outside 'till I came out  
Come back, come back, come back to me like  
You could, you could if you just said you're sorry  
I know that we could work it out somehow  
But if this was a movie you'd be here by now  


But I wish that she could come back.

I would take her if she just say that she's sorry – that we could work it out.

Like it happened in the movies.

But I guess, this isn't the movies.

If you're out there  
If you're somewhere  
If you're moving on  
I've been waiting for you  
Wary, since you've been gone  
I just want it back the way it was before  
And I just want to see you back at my front door  
And I say  


I had my speech all planned out, when I eventually got to her door.

If she was in there, somewhere in that big white house, probably trying to move on with her stupid leech, I would still call to her. Tell her that I've been waiting for her. That I'd been wary since she'd left, but I just wanted things to go back to the way it was before – back in that summer.

I just wanted her to be the one who goes to the door to apologize, but I guess it's up to me.

Come back, come back, come back to me like  
You would before you say it's not that easy  
Before the fight, before I left you out  
But I take it all back now  


"Jake?" She asked, as if she's not sure. How many 6"7 Quileute guys does she have rock up to her house?

"Bella, come back to me." I blurt out – all traces of the speech gone.

She sighed. "Jake, it's not that easy."

"Just say that you take it all back!"

"Jake-"

"No! Say that you didn't' mean for the fight to happen! Tell me that you haven't deliberately been leaving me out!"

Come back, come back, come back to me like  
You would, you would if this was a movie  
Stand in the rain outside 'till I came out  
Come back, come back, come back to me like  
You could, you could if you just said you're sorry  
I know that we could work it out somehow  
But if this was a movie you'd be here by now  


I was desperate – I needed her to say the words.

"Jake, I'm sorry," she tells me, her eyes overflowing with tears.

But I know that she wasn't apologizing for that past. She was apologizing for now.

"Bells, please. Come back to me."

"Jake, this isn't some movie! This isn't like those romantic comedies where I just fling myself back into your arms!"

"Right." I say coldly. "Cos if it was, you'd be at my door, right now, apologizing."

You'd be here by now  
It's not the kind of ending you wanna see now  
Think I've had a happy ending  
Oh, I thought you'd be here now, whoa  


"This isn't a romantic comedy. This is a tragedy. This isn't the ending either of us want, but what can we do?" My voice was hard and cold, so that she couldn't' see how much I was hurting.

"Jake, I'm so sorry," she blubbered.

"Save it for the happy ending you'll have with the leech."

I storm off.

And she. Follows. Me.

"No! I want you to have a happy ending Jake! You more than deserve one!"

"The only happy ending I want is with you!"

She steps back.

I sigh sadly. "I thought you'd be there by now. I thought you'd be _here_ by now. Guess I was wrong."


	17. 17 Superman

**"Superman"**

Tall dark and superman  
He puts papers in his briefcase and drives away  
To save the world or go to work  
It's the same thing to me  
He's got his mother's eyes, his father's ambition  
I wonder if he knows how much that I miss him  
And I know every word that you say, yay  
You smile and say how are you  
I say just fine  
I always forget to tell you, I love you, I love you ... forever  


I peer out the window.

Jake is still pulling the whole 'I work in an office and therefore I need to carry around a briefcase' charade. I don't know who he thinks he's fooling – it's obvious that he's carrying around his clothes for when he phases.

I just don't know why.

I mean, he surely doesn't need a _briefcase_ to save the world.

Or maybe he really is going to work.

Whatever.

He sees me and waves. I wave back and bound out of the house.

I stop about a meter in front of him, staring his wonderful eyes – dark like his mother, almost black.

Intoxicating.

"Bells, we don't really have for this…"

I shrug, marvelling at his ambition – that he got off Billy.

He sighs, before plastering on _my_ smile. "Hi Bella. How are you?"

"Just fine," I reply, before hugging him – it had become our ritual.

"I gotta go now Bells," he whispered in my ear, before jumping in the Rabbit and driving away.

"I love you," I whisper after him.

"Forever, I love you."

_Damn – why didn't I say anything? Why do I always 'forget' when he's right in front of me?_

I watch superman fly away  
You've got a busy day today  
Go save the world I'll be around  
I watch superman fly away  
Come back I'll be with you someday  
I'll be right here on the ground  
When you come back down  


My phone vibrates, and I check it – it's a text from Jake,

-_Im very busy all today. Sorry._

-Hey, I'll still be around. Go save the world Superman.

I sigh.

_My Superman._

Talk dark and beautiful  
Hes complicated hes irrational  
But I hope someday you take me away and save the day, yeah  
Something in his deep browns eyes has me singin'  
Hes not as bad like this, reputation  
I can't hear one single word they said, no  
You really got places to be and I'll be old then  
I always forget to tell you I love you I loved you from the very first day  


"You really are beautiful," I whisper to him that weekend, while he's dead on the couch. "Tall dark and beautiful."

He sighs, pulling me on top of him – but he's still asleep.

_Stupid werewolf strength._

"Bells, I'm not beautiful compared to you."

"No – you're just being irrational."

"How? Boys aren't beautiful – girls are. Boys are handsome, dashing, suave. Girls are beautiful, hot sexy. See the difference?"

"You complicated silly werewolf." I tell him, giggling. "You ARE beautiful."

He shakes his head. "Change of subject, what time is it?"

"Umm," I glance at my watch. "Almost five."

"SHIT!" He yells, jumping off the couch, though he's still holding me – who does he do that?

"What? What is it?"

"I gotta go to a pack meet at five. Sorry Sweet." He really look regretful.

"Maybe one day you'll let me go?" I ask hopefully.

He chuckles. "Yeah. One day I'll let you save the day."

And his dark brown eyes make my insides sing – because he actually means it.

"You want me to drop you anywhere?"

"Just the beach. You won't be long, right?"

"Not long at all."

He drops me off, with a sweet kiss to the forehead.

He drives off and I hear giggling.

I turn around and there some Res girls there.

"I can't believe _she's_ actually going out with _him._ I mean, look at _him._"

"Yeah. I heard he was in some sort of gang." Giggle, giggle. "He looks the badboy – goes with his reputation, huh?"

I walk off quickly, not wanting to hear anything more.

I sit on our log, dreaming of the day when I'll actually tell him 'I love you. I loved you from the very first day.'

I watch superman fly away  
You've got a busy day today  
Go save the world I'll be around  
I watch superman fly away  
Come back I'll be with you someday  
I'll be right here on the ground  
When you come back down  


We hang out in the garage.

We hang out at my house

At his house.

At the beach.

And every time he leaves, I want to shout out "Come back! I'll be with you someday!"

But the words are stuck in my mouth.

And I watch you fly around the world  
And I hope your texting some other girl  
I hope you don't forget about me  
I'm far away but I'll never let you go  
I'm lovestruck and looking out the window  
Don't forget, don't forget where I'll be  
Right here wishing the flowers were from you  
Wishing the card was from you  
Wishing the card was from you  


I realised today why I can't tell him.

I'm not good enough.

He should be texting some other girl – whose not broken, who has a whole heart, who the capacity to love someone like him.

But, even so I hope he doesn't forget me.

Even in Forks, I'm still wishing he was next to me. Yep Bella Swan – the lovestruck teenager.

I stare out the window, hoping that he'll drop by.

He knows where I am.

I see Mike's car drive away.

Curious I go downstairs.

I see some flowers and a card.

_Go to homecoming with me?_

_~love Mike._

I sigh.

Is it wrong to wish that these were from someone else?

Cause I loved you from the very first day  


Is it wrong to wish that these were from someone I loved?

I watch superman fly away  
You've got a busy day today to save the world  
I'll be around forever and ever here  
I watch superman fly away  
I swear I'll be with you someday  
I'll be right here on the ground  
When you come back down  


"Bells? You okay?"

I shrug, still sniffling.

Yep –I had cried.

"What's wrong? What happened?"

I point to the flowers. The card still attached.

Jake sighs.

"Did you not want them?"

"Not from him," I mutter darkly.

"Bella?"

"Just drop it, okay?"

"No Bella, what did you mean? Who did you want them from?"

I see a small spark of hope in his eyes.

"You," I whisper.

"What?"

"Jake, I'm still waiting for you to come back to earth – you're too busy, flying around the Res trying to protect everyone – protect me – that you run yourself ragged. Don't' worry. I didn't expect them from you, I just,"

I sighed in frustration.

Jake kissed me then.

Properly, on the mouth.

Hard and hungry, needy and wanting.

La, la, la  


"Bells, would you please go to my homecoming with me?"

He gets out as I gasp for air.

When you come back down  


"I'm only down on earth near you. Please. I need to be near you."

I nod, and once again, the kiss is passionate.

I'm backed up against the wall, Jake assaulting my neck.

"I love you," I breath.

He looks up at my eyes. "Really?"

"Forever from the very first day."

"I love you too Bella," he breathes back, before attacking my lips again.  



	18. Special Thanks! just as important as AN

Hey guys – I know im not supposed to be doing this, but I felt like I had to thank you all, and as I am working furiously on Love and War (cough cough) I thought it best to thank all of you lovely little tea cups who reviewed, fav'd, author subscribed, story subscribed everything!

Okay, thanks to:  
**Kirsten.  
dijag15  
TaylorLautnerWolves  
mohegan1142  
I Wish I Was Mizz Cullen  
Ashley0246  
Zoey24  
EclipseOfTears13  
**  
Who all added The Challenge as a favourite story, a story alert, an authors watch (and I see you watching you me btw lol) Thank you all so much to go to the time to read it all the way through!

A special thanks to:  
**Tanja83  
JacobBlacklover2009  
FigaroLaredo  
iambananas  
TiedTogetherWithASmile2012  
WishesInTheNightSky**

Who all reviewed! I love you all and thank you with the deepest gratitude and sincerity.

A special thanks to Tanja83 who reviewed every chapter! Belive me, Tanja83, I was watching my inbox, waiting for it say :REVIEW: THE TAYLOR CHALLENGE: Tanja83

I love youall,a nd hope that you will read and/or follow and/or review some of my other stories, oneshots and songfics, but no obligations.

Also, if you would like me to do another album for BellaxJake, or for any couple really in TwilgihtLand, just review me! I promise to give you mention at the beginning as well as special thanks to you at the end!

That's all for now, little teacups.

Until then, then,

Love, Theft and Murder


	19. UR NEW MISSION SHOULD U CHOOSE 2 ACCEPT

Heya people!

Know, I know what your thinking – another Authors note saying that things will be delayed, blah blah balh, skip through to bottom etc etc.

BUTBUTBUTBUTBUTBUTBUT

This is more of an announcement as well as a short upload/sneak peak!

I have joined Easy As Breathing – an awesome Ning site for JacobxBella fans. I have my own profile (which is a little boring atm) and a group for Love and War.

You have to become a member to look at it all, BUTBUTBUTBUTBUT it's totally worth it!

ALSOALSOALSOALSOALSO

I have my own Facebook page – Somekindabeauuuutiful.

(I don't think I can put on websites on here…. Meh.

http:/www-facebook-com()pages()Somekindabeauuuutiful/202670326421719

Remove the '-' and replace with '.' And the () With /

I hope it all makes sense. So, here we go – your sneaky chapter awaits!

NOTE: Will be in _italics!_

~/*\~

_**TO DEAR TAYLOR CHALLENGE FOLLOWERS!**_

_**This is your sneaky glimpse…**_

_**Your mission, should you choose to accept, is to review yes or no to me continuing with the whole Taylor Swift songfic thing – and contain it under this name **_

_**(for those of you who don't know, I have at least 2 other songfics by Taylor Swift floating out there in cyberspace – location can be found on my profile)**_

_**If yes, I shall relocate my existing songfics and create more.**_

_**You can leave other reviews – just cos you want to ;) **_

…

_**MWAAHAHAHAHAHAHA! SUFFER MY CLIFFHANGERS!**_


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